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First Official June 25, 2003 @ 10:09 p.m. So this is my first official entry in my online notebook, as I like to call it. I'm a very unpredictable person, or so people say. I am very uncomfortable in my own skin and have trouble expressing my feelings to people I have great feelings for. I screw a lot of things up because of that, I think I sometimes give people the wrong impression and they think I don't like them when I really do love them. I've never been comfortable saying 'I love you' to anyone, not even my parents. So when people say 'I love you' to me...I just never feel right saying it. I've never been too comfortable with people in general. I mean don't get me wrong, I love and care about lots of people, I just don't express it very well. But I'm working on that and a few people, you know who you are, are helping me a lot! I get afraid I'm going to screw something up so I sometimes don't do what my heart really wants me to do. And I pass on lots of offers because of what shrinks call a social panic anxiety disorder. I walked into the thrift store today and instantly felt overwhelmed by the people. I was about ready to run out the door because I get a feeling like they are watching me and they know something about me, when no one even notices me. This disrups me a lot, and I'm sorry for those of you who have to put up with me and my so called "problems". P.S. I'm sorry for not, and I promise I will, I really wanted to I just didn't know what to do.--You know who you are... Oddly, Stephanie then&now |